Caught My Boss On GrindR. Should I Tell His Wife?
A Novel Problem With Using GrindR At The Office
Dear 100footer:
I am employed in a high-ranking corporate firm where I am the sole individual directly supervised by my boss.
We are a compact crew, and due to our compatible temperaments, my boss and I share a strong professional bond as well as an unusually close personal relationship, despite our significant age disparity - he is in his mid-50s while I am in my mid-20s.
Here's where it gets complicated: I regularly use the Grindr app at work, and recently I spotted a new user who provided no photograph or personal information, other than their age. Intriguingly, the application suggested this person was merely nine feet away from me.
Intrigued, I roamed the office floor in an attempt to pinpoint this individual's location, and my exploration suggested that it could be one of two individuals, my boss being one of them. Coincidentally, the age listed on the mysterious profile matches my boss's age.
Suspicious, I decided to bookmark this profile. In the following week, I went to an external meeting at my boss's residence, located in a thinly populated suburban area. On my arrival (I was the earliest), I opened the Grindr app. Strangely, the same profile was online just 20 minutes prior and was now estimated to be 12 feet away.
I am now almost certain that the profile belongs to my boss, and this knowledge has left me feeling extremely uncomfortable. Knowing that my boss, who I believed to be contentedly married, is potentially active on Grindr is a thought I cannot shake off. I haven't engaged with the profile, but the question remains: should I discuss this with him? Or should I choose silence?
Yours,
Grindr Dander
Dear Dander
Ah, the mysteries of life! Who knew that we'd one day rely on Grindr's highly scientific measurements (distance in feet, no less) to navigate ethical dilemmas at work? Truly, a marvelous time to be alive.
Your situation reads like the plot of a techno-ethical thriller, with you as the protagonist grappling with questions of privacy, ethics, and some intriguing triangulation skills that could put Sherlock Holmes to shame.
Firstly, let's address the elephant in the room: Your boss on Grindr. Now, to truly dissect this issue, we must embark on a journey into the realm of ethics, a place that is about as black and white as a psychedelic poster from the 60s.
But before we get into that, let me stress that it is perfectly fine to have this particular breed of curiosity. The use of a dating app at work may not exactly constitute the best business practice, but it is not unheard of, and honestly, quite understandable. Office life can be drudgery, and the prospect of a quick swipe between spreadsheets may just be the thrill one needs to get through the day.
But on to the main event. You are wrestling with a moral beast of considerable weight here. Your boss' personal life is just that: personal. Remember that everyone is entitled to their privacy. Even bosses. Yes, I know it's hard to believe.
Moreover, Grindr is not exactly a public forum, and his presence there doesn't automatically equate to an open invitation to discuss his personal affairs. Think of it this way: you are at a masquerade ball, and you recognize someone from work despite their mask. Do you then have the right to go around telling people who they really are? In the world of ethical theory, we'd say: probably not.
So, let’s apply that to your situation. The presence of your boss' (presumably) secret profile on Grindr does not provide you with the right to unmask him at work. Whether your boss is questioning his sexuality or just exploring, these are highly personal matters that require delicacy and discretion.
While the prospect of this juicy office gossip might seem too tantalizing to ignore, it is crucial to remember the importance of respecting one's privacy. Treat this newfound information with the same respect you would want others to show your own.
As for what to do next, here's a novel idea: do nothing. At least, do nothing that breaches your boss' privacy or trust. Keep working diligently, continue to use Grindr if you like, but let your boss live his life, just as he lets you live yours.
In the grand theater of corporate life, we are all just trying to get by. We are all heroes and villains, saints and sinners, Grindr users and those who prefer to date offline. Let's remember to respect each other's performances on this grand stage.
