GAY APP DATING
Advice For Gay Men
GAY APP DATING
Our Guide To Hooking Up, Dating Or Finding A Boyfriend On The Apps
Author & columnist, featured on
HBO,
NPR, and in
The New York Times
Welcome to the jungle of gay app dating, where the only thing more fickle than the algorithm is the attention span of your potential matches. We're not just swiping right or left here; we're swiping through a maze of existential despair peppered with the occasional unsolicited picture that nobody asked for and finally....the decent hottie you want for a casual fling or serious love.
We're going to show you how to meet gay men online because, let's be real, meeting them in person requires something our generation lost long ago: social skills. Online, on the gay dating sites, you can be whoever you want to be: a jock, a geek, a fashionista, or that weird guy who collects taxidermy. The digital world is your oyster, but remember, some oysters contain pearls, and others, well, they just stink. Our guide will show you how to avoid the smells and collect the pearls.
In This Guide:
How To Pick The Right Gay Dating App
Gay Dating Apps Ranked By # of Downloads & User Ratings
How to Build A Smokin’ Hot Dating Profile
Use The Rule of 9's To Post Great Photos
The Importance of Picking The Right Username
Attract Them With Irresistible Headlines
Read Carefully: What His Profile Is Actually Saying
How To Respond To Guys You Like
How To Respond To Guys You Don't Like
Dealing With Ghosting, Orbiting & Guys Who Don't Want To Meet
How To Pick The Right Gay Dating App
Choosing the right gay dating apps is as tricky as a catwalk in clogs. We’re going to help you find hot, decent guys (or at least decently hot) amid an endless parade of gym selfies and over-staged "candid" shots. How?
Presenting…
Gay Dating Apps Ranked By # of Downloads & User Ratings
Of all the gay online dating tips we're going to give you, looking at our app rankings is right at the top. We’ve ranked all the gay apps by downloads and user ratings. Yes, you read that correctly! Ditch the anecdotal stories from your friend's cousin's roommate about stumbling upon Mr. Right on some obscure app. We're dishing out the real deal, brewed with heaps of hard, unadulterated data.
Our gay dating app guide is the distilled wisdom of hundreds of thousands of users who've swiped, matched, dated, and yes, diligently rated these apps. So, settle in, swipe right on our data-rich rundown, and gear up for a love quest that's backed by the best kind of cupid - cold, hard statistics! đŸ’˜đŸ“±
How to Build A Smokin’ Hot Dating Profile
While your username whispers a sense of who you are, your profile screams it--this isan essential aspect highlighted in our series, dating tips for gay men. And it has an enormous influence on whether guys contact you or not. Most people are surprised by two key findings in online research: a) Profiles are almost as important in hookup sites as relationship sites and b) Short profiles work best.
You shouldn’t be writing long fawning essays in your profile. They should be, like, 300 words at most. At most. Remember, your profile isn’t there to qualify somebody for a hookup, a date or a marriage. It’s main function is to GET YOU TO THE NEXT STEP (to convince them, along with your pics, that you're worth hitting up or responding to.
And the only thing that gets you to the next step is to rationally convince guys that you’ve answered their three main concerns, which we will go into great depths about in this gay dating advice series.
How To Build A Smokin' Hot Dating Profile
How To Write A Profile On A Dating App
What NOT To Say In Your Gay Dating App Profile
Top 10 Most Overused Gay Dating Profile Headlines
Deciphering His Online Profile: What His Coded Words Really Mean
Use The Rule of 9's To Post Great Profile Photos
At the risk of stating the obvious, gay men think with their eyes (and sometimes act with their crotch). You have got to get over the idea that you can attract or meet good looking guys without lots of high-quality pictures. We harp on this for a reason: It astounds us how many guys get online with no pictures, one or two pictures, bad pictures or some combination of the three.
Imagine you’re buying a car and you’re at the manufacturer’s website. You see pictures that are so fuzzy or taken from so far away you can’t decide if it’s a car or a truck.
Would you visit the dealer?
Of course not. So why do you think people will visit your lot if you use the same photo
strategy?
In this series of gay dating tips, we're going to show you the three best photo strategies, especially our Rule of 9's, which is practically guaranteed to get you where you want to go.
Click Magnet: Post The Kinds of Profile Pics That Attract More Attention
Should You Post Pictures Of Your Junk?
Snap Judgments: Mastering the Art of Picture-Perfect Profiles
Use The Rule of 9's For Gay App Photos
2 Picture Perfect Strategies For Taking Gay App Photos
Why You Need To Change Your Dating App Pics NOW
Why Are You Posting Pictures With Hot Friends, Biatch?
A Guide To Creating Irresistible Dating App Photos
The Importance of Picking The Right Username
You know that guy you think is really hot? Everybody else thinks so too. So how are you going to stand out?
Our gay dating profile tips include making your screen name reinforce the good impression your carefully selected photos have (hopefully) already made.One way is to make your screen name reinforce the good impression your carefully selected photos have (hopefully) already made. Here’s a quick tip: Avoid using numbers in your username. It makes your name harder to remember and your image more ambiguous. You want something sharp and vivid. Putting the year of your birthdate might be easy but it won’t advance your cause any.
How To Come Up With A Profile Username That Commands Attention
Attract Them With Irresistible Headlines
Some headlines are irresistible. You just have to keep reading. The job of your headline is to get people to read your profile. Remember, every opportunity you have to present yourself is an opportunity to lure in the kind of guy you like.
The average guy spends seconds scanning potential dates online, so you literally have seconds to make yourself noticed.
Great photos and an intriguing username are like delicious crumbs you leave leading to your door. You don’t want to slam it shut in their face with an awful header or headline. Beware the trap of using common or overused headers. They give the wrong impression--that you’re lazy, boring, and unimaginative. Now, that may be true, but we are determined to show your BEST self, right?
So spend some extra time on your header. According to Online Dating Magazine, which often informs our dating advice for gay men, these are the Top 10 Most Overused Headers. As you can see, they're AWFUL. But with the suggestions we're going to make in this section, "awful" is going to turn into "awfully good."
Read Carefully: What His Profile Is Actually Saying
Ah, the enigmatic world of gay online dating, where every picture, emoji, and exclamation point is a clue to the grand mystery: What on earth is he really saying?
In the fabulous and often flamboyant realm of gay men's dating profiles, things are never just black and white (unless it's a chic monochrome photo, of course). Whether it's a quirky headline that screams more than just a sense of humor, or a meticulously chosen profile picture that's supposed to say "I'm adorable AND adventurous," these digital pages are riddled with secret codes just waiting to be cracked.
So, dust off your detective hats and sharpen your gaydar, because we're about to embark on a gloriously gossipy journey through the world of profiles. We'll decode the cryptic language of selfies (no, that gym mirror pic isn’t just about his love for fitness), unravel the hidden meanings behind the most enigmatic headlines (spoiler alert: "fun-loving" might not just mean he loves fun), and translate what those 'casual' texts are really trying to tell you (hint: he might not actually be that chill).
Get ready for a rollercoaster of revelations in our Gay Dating 101 series because this is will be the ultimate romp to understanding what those charming, sometimes baffling, and always entertaining gay men's dating profiles are genuinely whispering.
Deciphering His Online Profile: What His Coded Words Really Mean
How To Hit On Guys You Like
Are you tired of swiping left and right with the finesse of an Olympic fencer but still ending up with nada? Welcome to our delightfully devilish section, 'How To Hit Up Profiles You Like' – where subtlety goes to die, and audacity reigns supreme!
Here, we're not just sliding into DMs; we're crashing through them with the charm of a runaway glitter ball. Think of this as your saucy, no-holds-barred playbook for making the first move. Whether you’re eyeing Mr. Right or Mr. Right-Now, as part of our dating advice for gay men, we've got the tips to make sure your message stands out in a sea of 'Hey' and 'Sup?'
Get ready to unleash your inner messaging maestro, armed with cheeky openers, flirtatious finesse, and a dash of daring. We’ll teach you how to craft that first message so it’s more enticing than a shirtless selfie on a summer day. Say goodbye to clichéd greetings and learn how to pique his interest with the wit of a seasoned flirt and the precision of a love sniper.
How To Text Somebody Who's Ambivalent About You
SMS SOS: Rescuing Your Texts from the Bermuda Triangle of Ambivalence
How To Respond To Profiles You Like
Ah, the art of the response – it’s like a high-stakes game of ping-pong, but with more emojis and potentially life-altering consequences. In this uproarious section, 'How To Respond To Profiles You Like,' we're diving headfirst into the exhilarating, sometimes nerve-wracking, world of replying to that cutie who just messaged you. Forget about the mundane 'Hey, how are you?' – it's time to elevate your game with our dating tips for gay guys, turning your responses into the kind that gets screenshotted for group chat fame.
This is your guide to replying with more spice than a drama-filled reality show. Here, bland is banned, and snore-inducing replies are strictly prohibited. Whether you've received a wink, a clever joke, or a straightforward "Hello," we're about to turn your responses into the kind that gets screenshotted for group chat fame.
We'll show you how to decode his message, read between the lines, and come back with something so witty it would make Oscar Wilde applaud from the grave. You'll learn the art of the flirtatious tease, the masterful use of GIFs (because let's face it, sometimes a well-timed GIF says it all), and how to keep the conversation flowing like champagne at a VIP party.
Once you're ready to get off the app and actually talk on the phone, here's our advice:
What To Say On Your First Phone Call With Your Crush
Ring-a-Ding-Ding: Slaying Your First Gay Date Call
How To Respond To Profiles You Don't Like
Here we're navigating the treacherous waters of turning someone down. It's the LGBTQ dating advice column you never knew you needed, filled with enough zingers to make a stand-up comedian proud!
Get ready to learn the art of saying "Thanks, but no thanks" with the flair of a diva declining an autograph. Here, we’re ditching the bland and boring templates and embracing our inner snarky saviors. Whether it's Mr. Too Intense, Mr. Not-My-Type, or Mr. Definitely-Wearing-a-Wig-in-His-Profile-Pic, we have a reply for each of them.
We'll show you how to craft responses that range from politely distant to downright savage. Need to let down Mr. Copy-Paste Message gently? Or what about Mr. Shirtless-in-Every-Picture who didn’t quite pique your interest? We've got quips, burns, and tactful turn-downs that’ll make you the master of the gentle (or not-so-gentle) letdown.
But remember, with great power comes great responsibility. We're here to entertain, but also to remind you that at the other end of that message is a person – possibly with a fragile ego and a collection of Broadway ballads to cry to. So, we’ll balance our wicked wit with a dollop of humanity, because everyone deserves a bit of kindness... even in rejection.
Should You Reply To a GrindR Message If You're Not Interested?
Are You Obligated To Respond To A Compliment On A Gay Dating App?
Dealing With Ghosting, Orbiting & Guys Who Don't Want To Meet
If you've ever found yourself staring at your phone, wondering why the person who bombarded you with flirty texts last week is now treating you like you're a ghost from a Victorian novel, you're in the right place.
Or maybe you're puzzled by that special someone who orbits your social media like a NASA satellite but avoids real-life encounters like it's an asteroid belt. And let's not forget about those charming individuals who seem to have a phobia of meeting in person.
Buckle up, because we're about to dive into the murky waters of modern gay dating and surface with a slew of effective strategies.
Why Do So Many Guys On The Gay Apps Refuse To Meet?
Got Ghosted? Get Even With This Priceless Tactic
How To Text Somebody Who's Ambivalent About You
SMS SOS: Rescuing Your Texts from the Bermuda Triangle of Ambivalence
Are Gay Dating Apps Helping or Hurting? See what the research says.
Survey Shows 13% of Users Find Lasting Relationships Through Apps
Gay Dating Resources
Books
MEET
Have more sex, get more dates, or find a husband with this step-by-
step manual that shows you how to approach, meet and attract
beautiful gay men.
From getting rid of fear of rejection to knowing exactly how to start a conversation, this is the ultimate
gay dating blueprint.
On Amazon
ATTRACT
The only body language guide for gay men. It’s packed with inventive strategies proven to make you more appealing and approachable.
Learn which gestures, postures and expressions attract gay men–all based on peer reviewed studies done by leading psychologists in non-verbal communication.
On Amazon
TEXT
Capture his imagination, stir his curiosity and build attraction with a blend of clever, thoughtful texts.
Get solutions to common problems like what you should say on first texts, how long to wait to respond, dealing with indecisive guys and turning ambivalence into passion.
On Amazon
ARTICLES
BUZZFEED: 5 LGBTQ+ Relationship Experts Share Their Best Dating Advice
This article features insights from six prominent LGBTQ+ relationship experts, including tips on navigating the dating scene, building healthy connections, and setting boundaries. While not exclusively focused on gay men, it offers valuable advice applicable to their specific experiences.
Medium: Red Flags To Watch Out For When You’re Dating Gay Men
Learn red flags to watch out for when gay dating including secretiveness, controlling behavior, different values, dismissiveness, anger issues, and possessiveness.
REDDIT: The Ultimate Guide to Gay Dating
This comprehensive guide delves into the contemporary landscape of gay dating, covering everything from navigating online platforms to crafting compelling profiles and handling first dates.
Gay Life After 40: 5 Tips for Gay Dating in Your 40s
This article offers practical advice for gay men over 40 seeking meaningful connections, addressing concerns like ageism, shifting priorities, and utilizing online platforms effectively.
Little Gay Book: 7 Conversation Starters for Your Next Gay Date
Synopsis: This article provides a handy list of conversation starters specifically tailored for gay men on first dates. It aims to break the ice, encourage genuine communication, and spark interesting discussions.
San Diego News:
7 Ways to Make the Most of Your Gay Dating Profile
This article provides practical tips for crafting a compelling online dating profile that attracts the right kind of attention. It covers aspects like profile pictures, bio writing, and showcasing your interests.
Salon: HOW TO MEET GAY GUYS WITHOUT GRINDR
Offers advice on meeting gay men in various settings that resonate with your values, including community events, parades, and volunteering opportunities, emphasizing the importance of building a supportive network.
Huffpost: GAY DATING ADVICE – 15 PRO TIPS
Focuses on the importance of emotional transparency and self-reliance in dating, explaining how owning your emotions and being independent are crucial for a healthy and balanced relationship.
Gino: Gay Relationship Advice: Tips and Strategies for Healthy Gay Couples
The article provides relationship advice for healthy gay couples from Gino Cosme, an experienced gay therapist. He emphasizes building a strong foundation based on trust, respect, commitment, communication, and compromise. Other tips include embracing self-awareness, overcoming internalized homophobia, actively listening, scheduling quality time, supporting each other's goals, maintaining intimacy, embracing uniqueness, nurturing supportive relationships, and prioritizing sexual health.
PODCASTS
A weekly podcast hosted by Dan Savage, an author, sex-advice columnist, and LGBTQ+ rights activist. The show is an extension of his popular "Savage Love" advice column. In the podcast, Savage offers candid and often humorous advice on sex, relationships, and dating.
Offers candid discussions about gay culture, dating, and relationships, with a focus on personal growth and community issues.
Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW
Ken Howard, a gay therapist, shares his insights on gay men's mental health, dating, and relationships.
This podcast, brought by the Gay Men’s Brotherhood, focuses on personal development, sexuality, and mental health, with a specific emphasis on gay men's experiences in dating and relationships
ADVICE COLUMNISTS
Ask Daddy is a long-running advice column for LGBTQ readers with questions relating to sexuality, morality, coming out, navigating relationships, and more. The column is known for its witty and humorous approach, while still offering insightful and relatable advice.
¡Hola Papi! is an online advice column by John Paul Brammer, offering queer-specific advice to readers around the world. Papi tackles personal questions about love, relationships, sex, identity, and more, with a focus on humor, empathy, and inclusivity.
Savage Love is a syndicated sex advice column by Dan Savage, running for over 30 years. Savage provides frank and often humorous advice on sex, relationships, and more, with a focus on harm reduction and inclusivity. He also hosts a popular podcast called "Savage Lovecast."