Write a Dating App Profile That Gets Results

Guys who truly want to date want something more than pictures to make up their mind about a possible meeting.

Whether you’re looking for sex or something more, the following tips will help immensely. Let’s start with a simple question: Do you recognize this profile? 

"I am a fun person who loves movies and music. I like walks on the beach, good conversation, and dining out. I'm looking for someone who is fun and can make me laugh."

You’ve probably seen something like it. Or, God forbid, written something like it.

It goes without saying that you should avoid clichés like the plague. And yes, I realize I just used a cliche to warn you off cliches.

Seriously, clichés are instant turn-offs. They signal that you’ve got the creativity of a walnut. And worse, it implies that you don’t put much energy into your love life (or, God forbid, your sex life). 

Ignite Your Love Life with Our Gay App Dating Guide

Let’s take a closer look at hackneyed phrases you should avoid at all costs and then how to turn them into something better:

Cliché:

I like walking on the beach and watching the sunrise. 

The problem: Who doesn’t? (well, I don’t know about sunRISE; how about sunset? Either way, it’s a throwaway line. Delete, delete, delete.

Better:

Talk about other things you like doing. Better yet, tell us why you like what you like. For example, if you’re into cooking, explain why it’s fun: “I like finding a nice wine to chill while introducing people to new takes on old recipes.” NOW your potential Mr. Right can begin to see himself with you.

Cliché: 

I’m a hopeless romantic.

The problem: What does that really mean anyway?

Better: 

Explain how you show your romanticism: “You will never butter your own bread if I take you out to dinner.”

Cliché:

Equally comfortable in black tie or blue jeans

The problem: Who are you, James Bond? Most guys rarely wear tuxes. Pretentious much?

Better: 

If fashion is important to you, include some photos of your personal style and explain your unique vision. This will help prospects understand you better—which always makes for a better match. 

Cliché:

I know how to treat a guy.

Problem: If you tell someone that you know how to treat them, you’ve just proven that you do NOT, because nobody likes to have assumptions made about what they do or do not like.

Better: 

Show, don’t tell. Give examples of good treatment, or simply explain why you think it’s important to pamper your partner. 

Cliché:

I’m looking for a soul mate.

Problem: Too cheesy and sounds like a bad pick-up line.

Better: 

ANYTHING.

The cure for cliché is details. Replace clichéd words or phrases with details about yourself and it will make anybody reading it say, “Tonight just got more interesting.” 

So, for example, instead of "I like movies," write "my favorite movie is ____ because _______." Or, use a movie character to describe you. "I'm a lot like _____ in ______ because _______."

What to Include in a Profile

Now that you’ve deleted the crappy stuff, let’s look at the ways that you can stand out: 

Include pop-culture references.

Your profile should give potential Mr. Rights something to ask you about, whether it’s music, sports, movies, theater or art. So mention that you can’t wait to read David Sedaris’ latest, for example, or that you’re addicted to (insert book title here), or that you have season tickets to (insert whatevs here). By mentioning your cultural reference points, you’ll make it easy for someone with the same tastes to get in touch with you.

Also, try comparing yourself to a pop-culture figure. Saying, “I’m not as brash as Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm, but I’m close” is funny and it’ll get you honesty points. 

Or something like, “I dance better than Napoleon Dynamite—but not by much.” If they’re actually a fan of the show or movie you mention, there’s no way they can pass you by without at least saying hello.

Tell us what’s wrong with you. 

Divulging a flaw is one of the easiest ways to win “awww” points.  Just make sure to be charming about it. Nobody wants to know that you only shower on Thursdays, but if you tell us you’re a genius in nanotechnology but can’t figure out how to operate the remote, we’re going to really like you.

Career Confessions

If your career is important to you and you want to mention it, fine, just don’t wave your resume at us. You’re not applying for a job, you’re looking to make a connection. Don’t trace your career back to your college minor, list every job you’ve had since high school, or detail every accomplishment in your brilliant career. You’ll come across pompous and egotistical. 

Show, don’t tell

Jane Austen never wrote, “Elizabeth Bennet was clever.” Stephen King never wrote, “The old house was scary.” Stephanie Meyer never wrote, “Edward was gorgeous.” (Oh wait. She did. Endless times. Never mind.) 

Please, don’t tell us that you’re funny and smart. Show us, through stories, anecdotes and observations. 

Get really specific

Specific details give the other person a starting place to write that first email. Include all your interests and remember that theses pieces of information allow your Mr. Right to piece together your personality.

One warning, though: being specific doesn’t give you license to use clichés (I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. AAARGH!)—even if you mean them in an ironic way. The problem is that irony and sarcasm don’t translate well online. They have the potential to backfire. 

Be Kind

I don’t know how many times I’ve read profiles that say, “Disease free and intend to stay that way.” That’s not only insulting to HIV+ guys but to their negative friends as well. If HIV is that big an issue for you (and it shouldn’t be—ever heard of safe sex?), then at least write, “Please be HIV negative. Thanks.” 

Ask for what you want without being cruel. The same goes for that awful “no fats or fems” lines. Delete, delete, delete. How about, “Prefer lean and masculine guys?” There’s such a thing as Online Karma. 

Weeding Out People You Don’t Want

Remember, your profile isn't about getting responses. It is about getting responses from the type of guy you’re attracted to. So use descriptions to attract what you want and keep out what you don’t. Look at the difference between this sentence.....

"Looking for someone fun and humorous.” 

And this one:

"I'm looking for a clean-shaven guy, 24-29, who laughs easily.”

Notice that in the second sentence you’ve created three filters: Age, appearance and sense of humor. And you did it without offending anybody.   

SUMMARY

• Limit your profile to 200-300 words MAX on a website, 50-100 on an app. You’re writing an invitation to the next step, not your next novel.

• You need a well thought-out profile even in the hookup sites. Higher quality guys care about the guys they go home with even if it’s just for a night. They also see a hookup as a potential date. 

• The six-step formula for writing a great profile: 1) Opening line that’s interesting, humorous and confident. 2) A description of your physical attributes 3) A story or series of mini-stories that reveals aspects of your personality 4) Qualifiers (to attract your type), 4) Disqualifiers (to filter out unwanteds) 5) An interesting question that begs for a response.

• Do not use cliches. Replace them with details.

• Include pop culture references. And other interests that like-minded people can use to reference in their email to you.

• Be kind about what you don’t want. For example, don’t say “Be disease free” when you can simply say, “Prefer HIV-”