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Is "The Principle of Least Interest" Ruining Your Love Life?

How The Principle Of Least Interest Can Make Or Break Your Relationship


Hey, you! Yes, you with the endless relationship questions. Bet you've never heard of the Principle of Least Interest. Well, here it is, answering a lot of what's gone on in your previous relationships and possibly the one you're in now.


Picture this. We've got Alex and Chris, two lovebirds happily dating for two years. Alex? Head over heels for Chris. Chris? Well, he's more about enjoying the ride than planning the journey. Sound familiar?


Alex: Hopelessly Romantic


Alex sees hearts when he looks at Chris. He's always planning surprise dates, declaring his love from rooftops, you get the gist. He's knee-deep in love and ready to dive in further. Moving in together? Yes, please! It's all about the 'we' for Alex.


Chris: The Lovable Non-Committal


Chris? Not so much. He likes his personal space. He dodges 'future talk' like it's a plague. Living together? Err... Not a chance. He's a 'me' person, relishing his freedom while loving Alex at arm's length.


Principle of Least Interest: The Power Player


Time for the truth bomb. The Principle of Least Interest. In any relationship, the less you care, the more power you have. You see, the one who is less interested can threaten to walk away, and the one who cares more will do anything to prevent that.


In our love story, Chris is the one holding the reins. He knows Alex is crazy about him, so he's sitting back, setting the pace while Alex scrambles to keep up.


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The Unseen Tug-of-War


The Principle of Least Interest is like a tug-of-war where the person least invested holds all the power. They can dictate terms, set boundaries, and decide the pace. Here, Chris, our carefree chap, is pulling the strings while Alex, our hopeless romantic, dances to his tune. It's a classic case of the Principle of Least Interest at work.


Power Play in Your Relationship: A Reality Check


The Principle of Least Interest is probably at play in your relationship, too. Be it a romantic entanglement, a casual friendship, or even a business partnership, this principle sneaks in everywhere, secretly deciding who wears the pants in your relationship.


Here's the kicker: It's not always a bad thing. Sometimes, this power dynamic can help maintain balance and prevent relationships from becoming suffocating. But beware when it becomes manipulative or unhealthy!


I'm going to help our dear friend Alex navigate the somewhat unbalanced dynamics in his relationship with Chris.


From the onset, it's crucial to remember that the Principle of Least Interest isn't a fixed law. It doesn't doom relationships where it's present to failure or a lifetime of unhealthy power imbalances.


Rather, it's a lens, a perspective, offering an understanding of the dynamics at play. If anything, identifying its presence is the first step towards neutralization and a healthier relationship dynamic.


Now, Alex, it seems you're the one more invested in the relationship, making the Principle of Least Interest a potential pitfall. But fear not, this can be navigated with care, communication, and a healthy dose of self-esteem.


Foster Independent Self-Identity


First off, develop an independent self-identity. While it's beautiful to love and be committed, it's equally important to maintain a strong sense of self. Have your own hobbies, interests, and friendships outside of the relationship with Chris. This not only enhances your personal growth but also balances the dependency ratio in your relationship.


Communication Is Key


Never underestimate the power of honest, open communication. If you feel the relationship dynamics are skewing, voice your concerns to Chris. Remember, Chris isn't a mind reader.


Articulate your feelings, needs, and expectations. Share your apprehensions about the future and your desire to move in together. Your concerns are valid, and your voice deserves to be heard.


Set Boundaries


The Principle of Least Interest often allows the less invested individual to control the relationship boundaries. It's time you had a say in them too. It's essential to establish boundaries that protect your emotional health and maintain your dignity.


Do you need Chris to be more involved in planning your future together? Or perhaps you need him to respect your need for commitment? Don't be afraid to establish these boundaries.


Self-Love and Self-Esteem


Cultivating self-love and a healthy level of self-esteem can do wonders to neutralize the Principle of Least Interest. When you love yourself and understand your self-worth, you become less dependent on your partner for validation.


This can help balance the power dynamics in your relationship. So take some time for self-care, embrace your strengths, and accept your imperfections.


Seek Mutual Investment


Lastly, aim for mutual investment. A healthy, balanced relationship should involve both partners investing emotionally and being vulnerable to the same degree. Encourage Chris to invest more in the relationship and express his feelings. Make it clear that for your relationship to grow, both of you need to be on the same emotional page.


Alex, navigating a relationship where the Principle of Least Interest is at play isn't easy. But with understanding, effort, and a good dose of self-love, you can neutralize its effects and pave the way for a balanced, fulfilling relationship. Remember, every relationship has its challenges. It's how we navigate them that defines their success.

Michael Alvear • June 7, 2023
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