Love on the Frontlines: Resisting Discrimination as Disabled and Queer

100footer: Welcome, David, to the 100footer interview series. Today, we want to talk about love and disability, and how it shouldn't make someone undesirable or impractical as a romantic partner. As a gay man with a disability, could you share your experience with dating and relationships?

David: Thank you for having me. My experience with dating and relationships has been a mixed bag. As a gay man with a disability, I often find myself navigating a complex intersection of identities.

In the beginning, I was hesitant to disclose my disability on dating apps, fearing that it would deter potential partners. However, I later realized that being open about it acted as a filter, ensuring that I would connect with open-minded and understanding individuals.

100footer: How do you feel about the misconceptions surrounding disabled people when it comes to romantic relationships?

David: There are certainly many misconceptions. The most common ones are that disabled people are asexual, can't have sex, or that our partners must become our caretakers. These assumptions are rooted in ableism and a lack of representation of disabled love stories in the mainstream.

My experience with dating has shown me that there are people out there who are willing to see beyond my disability and view me as a potential romantic partner. However, it can be challenging to confront and debunk these stereotypes, especially when society often fails to recognize our desires and desirability.



100footer: How do you feel about the way care is perceived in romantic relationships involving disabled individuals?

David: The perception of care in relationships involving disabled people is often skewed. Disabled people are usually seen as only capable of receiving care, which can lead to assumptions that we can't be equal partners in a relationship.

However, love and care manifest in various ways, and disabled individuals can also provide care to their partners. I have supported my partners emotionally, helped them with problem-solving, and been a comforting presence in their lives.

100footer: What message would you like to share with people who may be hesitant about dating someone with a disability?

David: I would like to remind them that love knows no boundaries, and disabled people are just as deserving of love and fulfilling relationships as anyone else.

Disabilities might bring some challenges, but they also contribute to the richness and uniqueness of our lives. Being open to dating someone with a disability allows you to embrace the extraordinary potential of a relationship that transcends limitations.

100footer: Thank you, David, for sharing your insights and experiences with us. Your story is a powerful reminder that love and understanding can overcome the barriers society often places on disabled individuals in the realm of romance.

Resources:

There are numerous websites and organizations that offer help and support for disabled gay men. Some of these resources include:

LGBTQ+ Disability Resources by National LGBTQ Task Force: This page provides a comprehensive list of resources for LGBTQ+ people with disabilities, including support networks, advocacy organizations, and educational materials.

Website: https://www.thetaskforce.org/lgbtq-disability-resources/

The Trevor Project: This organization offers crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for LGBTQ+ youth, including those with disabilities. Their website also features resources and support.

Website: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

GLAAD: This media advocacy organization focuses on promoting understanding, increasing acceptance, and advancing equality for LGBTQ+ individuals. They also provide resources for disabled LGBTQ+ people.

Website: https://www.glaad.org/

Disabled Queer and Hear: This online community on Facebook is dedicated to disabled LGBTQ+ individuals. It offers a space to connect with others, share experiences, and seek advice.

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/disabledqueerandhear

SAGE: Advocacy & Services for LGBT Elders: SAGE offers support and resources for LGBTQ+ older adults, including those with disabilities. They provide access to services, advocacy initiatives, and community-building opportunities.

Website: https://www.sageusa.org/