"For Richer, For Poorer" - But Let's Get That in Writing

Dear 100Footer:

For three years, my boyfriend and I have been an item, and for two of those years, we've shared a roof. Recently, he proposed marriage and, to my surprise, asked for a prenuptial agreement.

Throughout our relationship, I've always held my financial ground, so his request took me aback. Yes, he's more financially stable than I am, but we're not talking about massive "Succession"-level fortunes here. His suggestion stirred a sense of resentment within me, despite my upbringing that emphasized financial self-sufficiency.

Now, instead of being thrilled about our upcoming wedding, I find myself in a whirlpool of apprehension. Is it too late for me to challenge this prenuptial proposition?

--Should I Sign?

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So, you've been romancing your boy for three years now, two of which you've spent sharing a roof, maybe arguing over who forgot to buy more almond milk, right?

Then, out of the blue, he pops the question. But, uh-oh, there's a twist. He not only wants to put a ring on it but also wants you to sign on the dotted line of a prenup. Woah, wasn't expecting that plot twist, were you?

This man of yours, he's got a bit more change in his piggy bank than you do. But let's be clear, he's not exactly a gay Croesus from the pages of a high-drama show like "Succession". You agreed to the prenup, primarily because you've always prided yourself on being a financially independent king, but the resentment and butterflies, oh, they're definitely real. You're left wondering if your "I do" should rather be an "I don't". Can you call time-out on this match?

Now, when your man went down on one knee, were there any fireworks, or was it all business-like, straight to the point about the prenup? If you've glossed over the swoon-worthy bits of his proposal because you're feeling a bit shell-shocked by the whole financial mumbo-jumbo, then fine, we get it.

But if there was no dash of romance in his proposal at all, buddy, that's one red flag you can't ignore! But hold up, before we hit panic mode, let's grab our spades and dig a bit into prenuptial agreements. Contrary to popular belief, they aren't as horror-movie scary as you think.

Picture this, about 40 percent of marriages end up as stories of love lost. That’s a horror flick right there! So, whether your boyfriend has managed to stash away $50,000 or score a cool $50 million inheritance (still chump change for the trust-fund brats on “Succession”), his desire to protect his assets doesn't cast him as the villain of your love story.

It doesn't mean he's a harbinger of doom for your relationship any more than buying a designer fire extinguisher makes him a budding pyromaniac. Let's face it, life can throw curveballs — and it does, about 40 percent of the time.

Now, let's be real, I'm not typically a cheerleader for prenups, especially for people without jaw-dropping assets, monstrous liabilities, or kiddos from prior relationships. But hey, life's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get, right?

One of you might hit the career jackpot, or perhaps parenthood might squeeze your earnings. However, these are future possibilities that may take years to unfold — if they even happen at all. So, those complex prenups that try to divide the pie before it's even baked or cap the dough flow before there's a consistent track record are, frankly, a bit nonsensical.

They can often leave the less-wealthy partner feeling like they've drawn the short straw. So, sit down with your man and find out what's eating him. Then, get yourself a lawyer who knows their stuff and sort this out.

But hey, don’t let yourself be hustled into a prenup. If you can't reach a consensus on what's fair, maybe it's time to reassess. If you can't agree on this, how will you agree on who gets to control the remote, or who's turn it is to walk the dog on Sunday mornings? So, honey, it's time to put on your big-boy pants, have that talk, and figure out where you both stand on this prenup business.

Now, let's do a quick buzz through on prenups. I mean, they're not as terrifying as one might think. They're basically like those terms and conditions you scroll through and click 'agree' without reading when you're installing a new app.

Only, you should definitely read this one! It's essentially a contract that specifies how your assets (and debts, if any) would be divided if you two decide to call it quits. And hey, it's not all doom and gloom - some folks find that talking openly about money actually strengthens their relationship. But I digress.

Asking your man what his worries are is critical here. Is he worried about protecting a family business? Or does he want to ensure he's not saddled with your student loans? Knowing what's at the heart of his desire for a prenup can help you negotiate one that feels fair to both of you.

When you're hashing out these details, make sure you've got your own lawyer who can explain the legalese and make sure you're not getting the short end of the stick. But hey, don't just cave to your man's wishes because you're in love. If you can't agree on a fair prenup, that could be a sign of bigger problems down the road.

I mean, imagine not being able to agree on what to watch on Netflix, who's doing the dishes, or who gets to cuddle the dog. Chaos, right? If you can't find common ground on this, you might want to rethink walking down the aisle.

Remember, you're not just 'the boyfriend' anymore. You're about to become a life partner. And that's a huge deal! It's important to have a frank conversation about money, expectations, and the future. You both have to be clear about what you're getting into. If you can navigate this tricky prenup situation, you'll come out stronger on the other side.

In the end, whether you have a prenup or not, the most important thing is that you and your partner are on the same page. If the conversation about a prenup leaves you feeling unsettled, it's important to express that to your partner. If he's the right one, he'll be willing to work with you to find a solution that feels fair and leaves you both feeling secure.

So, partner dude, buckle up. This is going to be a wild ride, and you're in the driver's seat. Your future as a married man starts now. So, gear up, have that talk, negotiate if you have to, but most importantly, remember that your feelings and well-being matter. Love may be a battlefield, but that doesn't mean you can't have a fair fight. Good luck, and remember to keep it real, and keep it fair.