Say Cheese for Love: Optimize Your Dating App Pics Today

Note: this article is part of our gay app dating series.

You don’t date guys with a sense of humor who happen to be good looking. You date good-looking guys who happen to have a sense of humor. 

Translation: You’re doomed if you don’t post good pictures online. And lots of them. 

At the risk of stating the obvious, gay men think with their eyes (and sometimes act with their crotch). You have got to get over the idea that you can attract or meet good looking guys without lots of high-quality pictures.

I’m harping on this for a reason: It astounds me how many guys get online with no pictures, one or two pictures, bad pictures or some combination of the three. 

Imagine you’re buying a car and you’re at the manufacturer’s website. You see pictures that are so fuzzy or taken from so far away you can’t decide if it’s a car or a truck. Would you visit the dealer?

Of course not. So why do you think people will visit your lot if you use the same photo strategy?

There is absolutely no excuse for not posting a lot of good quality pictures online. Even if you’re a closet case, you’ve got to know that almost every app allows password protected pictures so you can “lock” your face pics (or other body parts) from the public. Bottom line: You’re an idiot if you don’t post lots of good pictures online and an even bigger idiot if you respond to somebody who doesn’t have any.

Giving Good Face

If we’re honest, we’re all asking one thing when we’re looking for which photos to post: “Do I look cute?” But not everyone is as chiseled as a European model or photographs like one. Which leads some of us (cough, cough—not you, of course) to fib about our photo selves.

Serious mistake. You think nobody’s going to notice the 20 pounds or the 10-year age difference when you walk in the door? What are you going to say when they greet you in shock, “I didn’t lie, Orca has a swimmer’s body too?”

No, no, no. The best way to figure out which pictures to post is to ask yourself this question: 

Do I actually look like these pictures TODAY?

If the answer is, “No,” start over. You want photos that accurately reflect you at your best. I ran across this profile that says it all about guys fudging their picture:

“I never knew there was an Amateur Photography Club for the Blind until I joined this app. And who knew so many are incapable of counting past 40? My grandfather used to think he was half his age too, but we got him pills for that. When life gives you lemons -- pour the vodka.”

Guidelines for posting the hottest and most REALISTIC photos of yourself.         

 Take more than 50 digital photos. 

Yes, 50. At least. In different settings, too. Here’s why. If you’re like the rest of us you’re going to hate most of your pictures, so you need a lot to choose from. Second, as you’ll see later on, successful online daters constantly rotate their pictures to keep them fresh. 

Avoid Selfies Unless You Use A Timer 

An awkward picture from an awkward angle with your arm over your head is never attractive. In fact, it tells us that you:

•  Are lazy. Or at least not very imaginative
• Are slightly creepy. Because most people who photograph themselves end up looking a little bit serial-murderish. (It’s not your fault—it’s the angle.) 

Use the automated timer function in your camera and set it to 3 or 10 seconds. That'll give you plenty of time to get in the pose you want. Seriously, the difference is dramatic.

Next week: How Many Pics You Should Post. The research on the most effective number will astound you.