The Worst Things Critics, Insiders & Celebrities Have Ever Said About Madonna

A list of gut-busting insults, brutal takedowns and savage shade.  

Ah, Madonna, the Queen of Pop, the Material Girl, the ultimate provocateur – or as I like to call her, the Grand Dame of Desperate Attention-Seeking.

In a career that has spanned more than four decades, Madonna has reigned supreme over the music industry, leaving a trail of controversy, desperate reinvention, and a buffet of wildly fluctuating accents in her wake.

But don't be fooled, dear reader, she's not just a singer; she's an actress too – although, that might be a bit of a stretch considering her cinematic "achievements."

As we all know, with great fame comes great responsibility – and an endless barrage of criticism. Sure, we could wax poetic about her numerous chart-topping hits and groundbreaking music videos, but where's the fun in that?

Instead, let's sink our teeth into the juicy, scandalous underbelly of Madonna's career, and explore the harshest burns and jabs ever hurled at the "Like a Virgin" singer. Trust me, they're more entertaining than her fake British accent.

In this article, we'll dive into the scathing remarks from critics, reviewers, celebrities, peers, employees, and even her own fans. We'll uncover the depths of the disdain for Madonna and reveal the shocking (or not-so-shocking) things people have said about her.

So buckle up, folks – it's going to be a bumpy, shade-throwing ride through the twisted world of Madonna's storied career. After all, if you can't laugh at a woman who thought hydrangeas were a suitable gift, what can you laugh at?

Critics and Reviewers

Oh, critics and reviewers, those self-appointed arbiters of taste – as reliable as a compass made of cheese and as consistent as Madonna's accent. But they do have a knack for slicing through the hype and delivering some deliciously brutal take-downs.

So, let's indulge ourselves in a three-course feast of their cruelest, funniest, and most unforgiving barbs aimed at our favorite shape-shifting chameleon, Madonna.

In this section, we'll cover everything from her forgettable albums to her spectacularly ill-advised acting career (spoiler alert: she's won more Razzies than Oscars). We'll also dissect her over-the-top performances, which have somehow made the word "restraint" a foreign concept for her. Prepare yourselves for a whirlwind tour through the most ruthless reviews and savage critiques that have been hurled at the Grand Dame of Pop. J

Negative Album Reviews

Early Career Criticisms

"Madonna could barely carry a tune, but the siren call of her almost painfully thin voice proved irresistible." - Ken Tucker, The Philadelphia Inquirer (1983)

"In the end, it's all just so much sonic wallpaper." - Chris Gerard, Metro Weekly (2015), on Madonna's debut album.

Controversial Albums and Their Reception

"Madonna's Erotica is the least sexy album ever recorded." - Barbara Ellen, NME (1992)

"American Life is just so relentlessly serious that listening to it is like being lectured by a humourless bore at a dinner party about how dreadful everything is." - Alexis Petridis, The Guardian (2003)

Unfavorable Concert Reviews

Over-the-top Performances

"Madonna's Blond Ambition Tour is a series of missed opportunities that almost make you feel sorry for her... almost." - Jon Pareles, The New York Times (1990)

"The idea of a pop icon like Madonna attempting to tackle the subject of religion in a stadium tour is certainly brave, but it's also incredibly foolhardy, and ultimately, it's a disaster." - Kitty Empire, The Observer (2006), on the Confessions Tour.

Technical Issues and Audience Dissatisfaction

"Madonna proved she can still provoke a reaction, but a tardy start and her reliance on Auto-Tune left fans feeling short-changed." - Tim Ingham, Daily Mirror (2015), on the Rebel Heart Tour.

"Having to listen to her vocals, largely swamped in reverb, was like trying to have a conversation with someone on the other side of the swimming pool." - Ludovic Hunter-Tilney, Financial Times (2012), on the MDNA Tour.

Critiques of Madonna's Acting Career

Poorly Received Film Roles

"Madonna has the presence of an amoeba." - Tony Rayns, Time Out (1986), on her role in Shanghai Surprise.

"Madonna's acting is so mechanical and one-dimensional that she makes her costars look like they're in a Strasberg master class by comparison." - Desson Howe, The Washington Post (1993), on her role in Body of Evidence.

"Madonna is the Calamity Jane of cinema." - John Wilson, founder of the Razzie Awards (2000)

"It's a performance so wooden, it could double as a hat stand." - Paul Byrnes, Sydney Morning Herald (2002), on her role in Swept Away.

Celebrities and Peers

Ah, celebrities and peers, the so-called "elite" of the entertainment world – known for their unyielding loyalty, unwavering support, and endless flattery.

Or, you know, the exact opposite of that. But hey, who doesn't love a little Hollywood drama? And when it comes to Madonna, there's no shortage of scathing remarks and deliciously catty feuds.

From musicians to actors, these stars have taken shots at the Material Girl, and some of them are as gloriously brutal as her attempt at acting in "Swept Away."

In this section, we'll delve into the feuds, controversial collaborations, and comments from celebrities who just can't seem to resist sinking their claws into Madonna.

So, grab your popcorn and put on your reading glasses, because we're about to explore the nastiest, funniest, and most unapologetically cruel things ever said about the Queen of Pop by her fellow celebs.

Conflicts with Other Musicians

Elton John's Public Feuds with Madonna: A Symphony of Shade

Elton John and Madonna, two music industry titans who have been engaged in a feud that's lasted longer than some of Madonna's marriages. Strap in, folks, because we're about to take a deep dive into the storied history of this epic clash of egos.

Round 1: The Q Awards Incident (2004)

Our melodious tale begins in 2004, at the Q Awards, where Sir Elton John took aim at Madonna's live performances. Never one to mince words, he proclaimed, "Anyone who lip-synchs in public on stage when you pay £75 to see them should be shot. Thank you very much. That's me off her f***ing Christmas card list, but do I give a toss? No." And with that, the stage was set for a feud of operatic proportions.

Round 2: Glastonbury Grumbles (2005)

In 2005, Elton continued to poke the proverbial bear, questioning Madonna's suitability as a headliner for the prestigious Glastonbury Festival. Speaking to The Sun, he declared, "Madonna, can you believe it? I don't give a f*** about her." A harsh assessment, but then again, he's not known for his subtlety.

Round 3: The Golden Globes Skirmish (2012)

The most explosive round of their ongoing tussle came in 2012, during the Golden Globe Awards. Elton John was asked about Madonna's chances of winning the award for Best Original Song, to which he responded with his usual candor, "Madonna hasn't got a f***ing chance of getting [the award].

Those songs in the category are so much better than that rubbish. She's such a nightmare." Ironically, Madonna went on to win the award, leading to a terse exchange between the two at the ceremony.

Round 4: An Apology and Renewed Hostilities (2012 - 2016)

In 2012, Elton John appeared to extend an olive branch to Madonna, apologizing for his past remarks during an appearance on Australian television. He admitted, "I probably shouldn't have said it. I have to say that I do have regrets about that." But, true to form, the ceasefire was short-lived.

In 2016, Elton once again took a swipe at Madonna's live performances in an interview with Rolling Stone, saying, "I'm not a fan of Madonna in terms of her music because it's not my kind of music. And her live performances are a bit hit and miss for me." At least he's consistent.

Round 5: Elton's Autobiography Revelations (2019)

In his 2019 autobiography, Me: Elton John, the singer revealed that he and Madonna had made peace after years of animosity. He wrote, "We made up a couple of years ago, and everything is fine between us now. We've bumped into each other a few times since then, and we're always completely cordial."

Whether this truce will last or if we'll be treated to another round of Elton vs. Madonna remains to be seen. But one thing's for sure: this feud has provided us with some of the most delightfully vicious and entertaining barbs in music history.



Lady Gaga and the "Born This Way" Controversy: A Tale of Two Divas

In 2011, Lady Gaga released her anthemic hit "Born This Way," a song celebrating self-acceptance and individuality. Little did she know that it would ignite a firestorm of controversy, drawing comparisons to Madonna's 1989 classic "Express Yourself" and pitting these two pop icons against each other in a clash for the ages.

The Emergence of "Born This Way" and Initial Comparisons (2011)

As soon as "Born This Way" hit the airwaves, fans and critics alike were quick to point out the striking similarities between Gaga's song and Madonna's "Express Yourself."

Both tracks boasted catchy, empowering choruses and shared a similar tempo and melody. The media was buzzing with allegations of plagiarism, and it wasn't long before Madonna herself weighed in on the controversy.

Madonna's "Reductive" Comment (2012)

In an interview with ABC News in 2012, Madonna was asked about the similarities between the two songs. Her response? "['Born This Way'] feels reductive… I mean, is it a look-alike and sound-alike? I don't know. I certainly think she references me a lot in her work." The term "reductive" became synonymous with the feud, and Lady Gaga's fans were not pleased.

Gaga's Response and the Battle of the Fan Bases (2012)

Lady Gaga, never one to back down from a challenge, addressed the controversy during an interview with NME. She defiantly stated, "I will look you in your eyes and tell you that I am not dumb enough or moronic enough to think that you are dumb enough or moronic enough not to see that I would have stolen a melody."

As tensions mounted, both artists' fan bases, affectionately known as Little Monsters (Gaga's fans) and the Madonna Army, took to social media to defend their respective idols.

Madonna's "Express Yourself" / "Born This Way" Mashup (2012)

Not one to let things slide, Madonna made her feelings about "Born This Way" crystal clear during her 2012 MDNA Tour. During a performance of "Express Yourself," she seamlessly transitioned into "Born This Way," highlighting the similarities between the two tracks. She then closed the medley with her song "She's Not Me," a not-so-subtle jab at Lady Gaga.

Gaga's Subsequent Comments and the Illusion of Resolution (2013-2018)

In a 2013 interview with Attitude magazine, Lady Gaga appeared to extend an olive branch, saying, "I have to be really honest, I was completely kind of floored that Madonna was singing my song on her stage every night!" She went on to add, "I'm a very big fan of Madonna… There's no drama, there's no jealousy, there's no competition."

For years, it seemed as though the storm had passed, with both artists focusing on their respective careers and not addressing the controversy further. However, this period of calm would prove to be short-lived.

Gaga's "100 People in a Room" Speech and Madonna's Instagram Shade (2018)

During the press tour for her film "A Star Is Born," Lady Gaga repeatedly used the phrase "there can be 100 people in a room and 99 don't believe in you, but all it takes is one." Madonna, who had used a similar line in the past, took to Instagram to throw some shade, posting a video of herself saying the line with the caption "Don't f*** with me Monday." The feud, it seemed, was back on.

The Oscars Incident (2019)

In 2019, Lady Gaga won the Academy Award for Best Original Song for "Shallow" from "A Star Is Born." Following the ceremony, Madonna hosted her annual Oscars after-party, and the two icons were photographed together, smiling and embracing. This led many to believe that the years-long feud had finally come to an end.

The Unresolved Controversy (2020-Present)

Despite the apparent truce at Madonna's Oscars party, it's unclear whether the rivalry between these two pop divas has truly been laid to rest. There have been no public confrontations or social media spats in recent years, but the history of the "Born This Way" controversy remains a contentious topic for both artists and their devoted fans.

The "Born This Way" controversy is a prime example of how the entertainment industry thrives on drama and competition, particularly between powerful female artists.

The similarities between "Born This Way" and "Express Yourself" sparked a fascinating and, at times, ugly feud between Lady Gaga and Madonna, leaving fans to wonder if the battle is truly over or if it's just waiting for the next incendiary moment to reignite.

Controversial Collaborations and Partnerships

Sean Penn and Their Tumultuous Marriage

"Madonna is the best wife a man could ever hope to have. But she's also the worst wife a man could ever hope to have." - Sean Penn, Rolling Stone (1987)

Guy Ritchie and the Backlash from Their Film Swept Away: "I still love her. But she's retarded too." - Guy Ritchie, Esquire (2009)

Comments from Other Celebrities

Disapproving Remarks from Cher and Patti LuPone

"There's something about her that I don't like. She's… mean. I don't trust her." - Cher, CBS News (1991)

"Madonna is a movie killer. She's dead behind the eyes. She cannot act her way out of a paper bag. She should not be on film or on stage." - Patti LuPone, Watch What Happens Live (2017)

David Letterman's Infamous Interview

"You are a sick f***. I don't know why I get so much s***." - Madonna, The Late Show with David Letterman (1994)

Employees and Industry Insiders

Let's venture into the world of employees and industry insiders who've had the (mis)fortune of working with or encountering Madonna.

From personal assistants to producers, these brave souls have dared to cross the Queen of Pop and lived to tell the tale.

Prepare yourselves for a wild ride through the inner sanctum of Madonna's professional life, filled with cutting remarks, juicy gossip, and laugh-out-loud stories that'll have you questioning the sanity of those involved.

Disgruntled Employees

Christopher Ciccone's Tell-All Book

"I often think that if she would only stop reacting to her fears and insecurities and instead try to understand where they come from, she would not only be happier but also a better artist." - Christopher Ciccone, Life with My Sister Madonna (2008)

Melissa Crowe, Former Assistant

"Working for Madonna was like being in the Army. She's a real control freak. She wants to know every little detail about everything, and I guess that's why she's successful." - Melissa Crowe, The Mirror (2002)

Music Industry Insiders

David Foster's Collaboration Woes

"I turned Madonna down because I was working with Barbra Streisand at the time. I couldn't do them both. And besides, there's something about Madonna that I don't like. She's… mean." - David Foster, The Daily Beast (2013)

Quincy Jones' Unflattering Opinion

"Madonna, she's a businesswoman. But she's never been a great singer." - Quincy Jones, GQ (2018)

Unfortunate Encounters

Courtney Love's Infamous MTV VMA Incident

"Hi, Madonna! You look great. Buy me a pair of those f***ing shoes." - Courtney Love, MTV Video Music Awards (1995)

Rosie O'Donnell's Awkward Dinner Party

"I went to her house for dinner once, and I was so starstruck that I couldn't even speak. I sat next to her and just stared at her all night. Finally, she turned to me and said, 'You're a freak. Get out of my house.' I was mortified." - Rosie O'Donnell, The Rosie O'Donnell Show (2000)

Fans: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

We've arrived at the pièce de résistance: the fans. Whether they're camping outside concert venues or crafting homemade shrines, Madonna's fans have never been shy about expressing their devotion – or their discontent. In this section, we'll explore the passionate, hilarious, and downright brutal remarks that have emerged from the depths of Madonna's fandom.

The "Frozen" Yoga Incident

"Madonna is so old and desperate for attention, she's even trying to steal yoga moves now." - Angry fan on Twitter, after Madonna was accused of plagiarizing a yoga pose in her "Frozen" music video (2018)

The Fall Heard Around the World

"I guess the cape was too heavy for the old bird to handle." - Disgruntled fan on Twitter, after Madonna's infamous tumble during a Brit Awards performance (2015)

The Age-Old Debate

"Madonna is like a fine wine – or maybe more like a Twinkie. She just never seems to age." - Amused fan on Twitter, commenting on Madonna's seemingly ageless appearance (2020)

"As a fan, I love Madonna. As a Catholic, I hate that she's crucifying herself on stage. Can't she just stick to the cone bra?" - Conflicted fan on a Madonna fan forum, discussing the singer's controversial stage antics during the Confessions Tour (2006)

"I can't decide if I love Madonna for speaking her mind or if I hate her for turning every concert into a political rally. Can we just dance?" - Torn fan on Twitter, after Madonna delivered a politically-charged speech during a concert (2019)

Her "New Look" in 2023

The 64-year-old "Like a Prayer" singer left fans stunned with her dramatic transformation at the Grammys, which many speculate is the result of plastic surgery and other cosmetic treatments.

Critics on social media have expressed their disappointment, with comments such as, "That isn't Madonna, is it? What happened to her?" and "Sad that so many women fall victim to wanting to look 20 forever and go overboard with fillers and surgery."

More Quotes:

"The mother of reinvention needs an intervention." -- Actor and performer Damon Gonzalez

"Holy s--t, she has destroyed her beautiful face. For such a strong woman and role model for us ladies, she leaves me sad."  -- Twitter comment

"Many don't realize that once you start down this road of implants and fillers, there is maintenance and you have to keep filling. What may start as a little injection here or there to "freshen" you up, ends as a melted horror scene Salvador Dali had nightmares about."  -- Twitter comment

Madonna Claps Back

 “Once again I am caught in the glare of ageism and misogyny That permeates the world we live in A world that refuses to celebrate women pass the age of 45 And feels the need to punish her If she continues to be strong-willed, hard-working and adventurous.”

“I have never apologized for any of the creative choices I have made nor the way that I look or dress and I’m not going to start,” Madonna added. “I have been degraded by the media since the beginning of my career but I understand that this is all a test and I am happy to do the trailblazing so that all the women behind me can have an easier time in the years to come.”

“I look forward to many more years of subversive behavior — pushing boundaries —Standing up to the patriarchy — and Most of all enjoying my life. Bow down bitches!”

-- New York Post 2023

Madonna's Own Harshest Critic: Herself

We've laughed at what critics, celebrities, employees, and fans have said, but now it's time to turn our attention to the one person who might just be Madonna's harshest critic: Madonna herself.

That's right, as much as our beloved Queen of Pop has been the subject of ridicule and scorn from others, she's also been known to throw a few barbs her own way.

Let's take a look at the self-deprecating, tongue-in-cheek jabs that Madonna has aimed at herself over the years.

"I should stick to singing, shouldn't I?" - Madonna, The Late Show with David Letterman (1994), commenting on her less-than-stellar acting career

"I'm calling my next album 'Adequate.' It's a bold statement, I know, but I feel like I've finally reached a level of mediocrity that I can be proud of." - Madonna, The Ellen DeGeneres Show (2012), joking about her constant reinventions

The Brit Awards Tumble

"I didn't fall, darling. That's just how I exit a stage. Gracefully, with a hint of whiplash." - Madonna, The Jonathan Ross Show (2015), addressing her infamous fall during the Brit Awards

The Adoption Controversy

"Maybe I should have just stuck with rescuing dogs." - Madonna, Entertainment Tonight (2009), addressing the controversy surrounding her adoption of children from Malawi

The Evolving Accent

"I don't know what accent I'm speaking with today. It's a bit of a mishmash. Maybe I'm just trying to be mysterious." - Madonna, BBC Radio 1 (2015), poking fun at her ever-changing accent

"I used to think the cone bra was a symbol of female empowerment. Now I just think it's a great way to poke someone's eye out." - Madonna, The Graham Norton Show (2019), reflecting on her iconic cone bra.