The 20/80 Rule: How a Fraction of Gay Men Account for Majority of Gay Sex

Data from various studies suggest that a relatively small number of gay men actually account for a significant share of all gay sex.

Let’s delve into the numbers to shed some light on this intriguing scenario.

The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB) found that the average gay man has about 10.4 sexual partners in their lifetime. Sounds impressive, right? Yet, here's the kicker: this number is an average, implying that some men have significantly more partners, while others have fewer.

What are the chances of getting HIV from a one night stand? Check out or post and prepare it to be shocked.

Anyway, this discrepancy could mean that a small subset of the population is significantly more sexually active than others.

This notion is echoed in the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender National Health Survey (NHBS), which revealed an average of 12.4 partners for gay men.

However, when you break down the data, you find that the top 20% of gay men reported having four times as many sexual partners as the bottom 80%. This means that the most sexually active gay men are not just a little more active - they are significantly more active.

Moving onto the National HIV Behavioral Surveillance System (NHBS), the survey found that men who have sex with men (MSM) reported an average of 14.2 sexual partners. In this study, it was found that the top 10% of MSM reported having seven times as many sexual partners as the bottom 90%.

But what do these numbers tell us?

Primarily, they imply that sexual behavior among gay men is not evenly distributed. Instead, it tends to be concentrated among a minority of individuals who have a significantly larger number of partners than others.

This skewness in distribution of sexual partners could be due to various factors, such as differences in sexual desire, opportunity, or socio-cultural contexts.

Sexual Desire

Let's take sexual desire first. Just like how some people are super into playing video games and others aren't as interested, some gay men have a stronger desire for sex than others.

This can be because of different things, like their hormone levels (the chemicals in our bodies that control lots of our feelings and actions), their past experiences, or how they think and feel about sex.

Opportunity

Second, let's think about 'opportunity'. If you live right next to a great park, you might play there a lot. But if the nearest park is miles away, you probably won't go there as often. The same thing can happen with sex. Some gay men might have more chances to have sex because of where they live, who they know, or how they spend their time.

Context

Third, we can't forget about 'socio-cultural contexts'. This is a fancy way of saying how a person's society or culture thinks and feels about certain things. Some cultures or societies are more open about sex, while others are more private. Some gay men might be part of a group or culture that's more comfortable talking about and having sex.

Diversity in Behavior

Next, the variation in sexual behavior among gay men mirrors the diversity inherent in any human population. As with many other aspects of our lives, such as career choices, hobbies, and social activities, there are significant differences in sexual behavior from person to person.

Some individuals may prioritize sexual exploration and pleasure more than others, while for others, their focus might be on building a meaningful, long-term relationship with a single partner.

Gay Dynamics

These findings can also tell us about the dynamics within the gay community itself. The small fraction of gay men who have a larger number of sexual partners could potentially have a larger social network within the community, more social influence, or more access to potential partners.

Fluidity Over Time

Additionally, this information may also suggest a degree of fluidity in the sexual behavior of gay men. It's possible that an individual's sexual activity could vary significantly throughout different stages of their life, influenced by factors such as age, relationship status, and societal attitudes.

For instance, younger, single individuals might engage in more sexual activity compared to older individuals or those in committed relationships.

It's also important to recognize that having a higher number of sexual partners does not necessarily correlate with an individual's level of satisfaction or happiness.

Research from the University of Colorado Boulder suggests that sexual satisfaction is more related to the quality of the relationship and emotional connection rather than the number of sexual partners.

So, next time you're pondering over the sex lives of gay men, remember this: while a minority might be having a lion's share of the encounters, the majority are likely pursuing meaningful, satisfying relationships - regardless of the number of partners they have. After all, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not about the quantity, but the quality that truly matters.

RESOURCES

1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC): www.cdc.gov
2. American Sexual Health Association: www.ashasexualhealth.org
3. National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB): www.nationalsexstudy.indiana.edu
4. Planned Parenthood: www.plannedparenthood.org
5. The Kinsey Institute: www.kinseyinstitute.org
6. Human Rights Campaign (HRC): www.hrc.org
7. The Trevor Project: www.thetrevorproject.org
8. The National LGBT Health Education Center: www.lgbthealtheducation.org
9. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH): www.nimh.nih.gov
10. GLAAD (formerly the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation): www.glaad.org

REFERENCES

1. Laumann, E. O., Gagnon, J. H., Michael, R. T., & Michaels, S. (1994). The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States. University of Chicago Press.
2. Herbenick, D., Reece, M., Schick, V., Sanders, S. A., Dodge, B., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2010). Sexual behavior in the United States: results from a national probability sample of men and women ages 14-94. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 7(Suppl 5), 255-265.
3. Rosenberger, J. G., Reece, M., Schick, V., Herbenick, D., Novak, D. S., Van Der Pol, B., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2011). Sexual behaviors and situational characteristics of most recent male-partnered sexual event among gay and bisexually identified men in the United States. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 8(11), 3040-3050.
4. Sullivan, P. S., Salazar, L., Buchbinder, S., & Sanchez, T. H. (2009). Estimating the proportion of HIV transmissions from main sex partners among men who have sex with men in five US cities. AIDS, 23(9), 1153-1162.
5. Stall, R., Mills, T. C., Williamson, J., Hart, T., Greenwood, G., Paul, J., ... & Catania, J. A. (2003). Association of co-occurring psychosocial health problems and increased vulnerability to HIV/AIDS among urban men who have sex with men. American Journal of Public Health, 93(6), 939-942.
6. Morris, M., & Kretzschmar, M. (1997). Concurrent partnerships and the spread of HIV. AIDS, 11(5), 641-648.
7. Goodreau, S. M., Carnegie, N. B., Vittinghoff, E., Lama, J. R., Sanchez, J., Grinsztejn, B., ... & Buchbinder, S. P. (2012). What drives the US and Peruvian HIV epidemics in men who have sex with men (MSM)? PLoS One, 7(11), e50522.
8. Paz-Bailey, G., Mendoza, M. C., Finlayson, T., Wejnert, C., Le, B., Rose, C., ... & NHBS Study Group. (2016). Trends in condom use among MSM in the United States: the role of antiretroviral therapy and sero-adaptive strategies. AIDS, 30(12), 1985-1990.
9. Mustanski, B., Newcomb, M. E., Du Bois, S. N., Garcia, S. C., & Grov, C. (2011). HIV in young men who have sex with men: a review of epidemiology, risk and protective factors, and interventions. Journal of Sex Research, 48(2-3), 218-253.
10. Parsons, J. T., Grov, C., & Golub, S. A. (2012). Sexual compulsivity, co-occurring psychosocial health problems, and HIV risk among gay and bisexual men: further evidence of a syndemic. American Journal of Public Health, 102(1), 156-162.