Adding a Third To Your Relationship? Here's How To Make A Throuple Work

Well, well, well, isn't this a modern-day romantic fairytale? Three gay musketeers, riding off into the sunset, or should I say, the bedroom?

But let's get real here, boys – maintaining a throuple is about as easy as plucking a unibrow without shedding a tear. So buckle up, because I'm going to drop some truth bombs with a side of sass.

First up: Communication, darling.

No, I'm not talking about your Grindr chat history. You need to be as open as a 24/7 convenience store when it comes to discussing your feelings. Take a page out of Dr. John Gottman's book and use "I" statements, like "I feel left out when you two Netflix and chill without me" or "I get jealous when you flirt with the bartender."

And remember, as our old pal Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." So don't forget to be friends first and foremost.

Next, let's talk boundaries – and no, I don't mean the ones you cross every weekend at the club. Have regular check-ins with each other and establish some ground rules.

As therapist Esther Perel suggests, "Negotiate boundaries in an ongoing fashion." For example, are you all exclusive, or is it open season for a little outside flirtation? Make a shared Google calendar to avoid double-booking date nights – it's 2023, not the stone age, people.

Now, on to the elephant in the room: Jealousy. It's the green-eyed monster that Shakespeare warned us about, and trust me, it's not going anywhere.

So, as Dr. Brene Brown advises, practice vulnerability. When jealousy rears its ugly head, say something like, "I'm feeling insecure because I think you're more attracted to him than me" or "I'm afraid that I'm not as important to you as he is." Remember, a throuple divided cannot stand, so nip that envy in the bud before it blooms into a full-blown soap opera.

Lastly, let's address the issue of fairness. You're a trio, not a see-saw, so make sure everyone gets equal playtime. But don't just take my word for it – the brilliant psychoanalyst Melanie Klein believed in the importance of sharing love and attention among siblings to avoid rivalry.

So, make a conscious effort to distribute affection and activities evenly, like taking turns choosing date night plans or alternating who gets to be the little spoon.

In conclusion, follow these pearls of wisdom, and your throuple might just have a fighting chance. After all, as the iconic Mae West once quipped, "Love isn't an emotion or an instinct – it's an art." So go forth and paint your masterpiece, boys – just don't forget to wash the brushes afterward.