Depressed About Being HIV?
Hey 100Footer:
I'm in my late twenties, part of the queer community, and was diagnosed with HIV a year ago. Since then, I've made the decision to become celibate, keep my status private, and handle my illness on my own.
Here's some background: A year ago, I was living with someone I thought was a friend because it was affordable. One night, he called me while drunk and criticized me for being depressed since my diagnosis, saying, "It doesn't matter. No one cares that you're positive."
But I care. I care a lot.
I understand that being HIV positive isn't a death sentence, especially with advancements like PrEP. However, I'm still struggling mentally and emotionally. My feelings seem valid to me, and I don't think they should be dismissed or belittled. How can anybody possibly be happy living with HIV?
Am I wrong to feel this way?
A Positive Negatively Charged
Dear A Positive:
You're dealing with a major life change here, and going celibate and keeping your status under wraps is totally your prerogative. Think of it as your own personal VIP lounge where you get to decide who's on the guest list.
Now, about your 'friend' – and I'm using that term more loosely than a pair of jeans after Thanksgiving dinner. His empathy level seems to be on par with a cactus. Him calling you a coward for being depressed? That's like telling someone they're silly for crying at a Pixar movie. Newsflash, buddy: Emotions are allowed!
What Are The Chances of Getting HIV Sexually?
Feeling broken-hearted and having your head feel like a blender on high? Totally normal. You're not just dealing with a diagnosis; you're dealing with the plot twist of your life story.
Your feelings? Valid. More valid than the reasons people use to skip the gym on a Monday. Remember, being HIV positive in this era isn't the end of your story; it's just a plot development. And with advancements like PrEP, it's more of a drama than a tragedy.
So, my advice? Embrace those feelings like they're the last slice of pizza at a party. You're entitled to every single one of them. And as for dealing with unsupportive 'friends'? It might be time to Marie Kondo your social circle. If they don't spark joy (or at least basic human empathy), thank them for their service and send them on their way.
While it's essential and completely valid to feel your feelings, especially when navigating such a significant life event, it's also crucial not to let these emotions set up permanent camp in your psyche. Think of your emotions like tourists visiting the city of You. They come, they explore, they make a bit of noise, but eventually, they leave. The key is processing these feelings – acknowledging them, understanding them, and then gently showing them the door.
What Are The Chances Of HIV From a One-Night Stand?
Now, how long should this processing take? There's no one-size-fits-all timeline. Just like binge-watching a series, some need a weekend, others need weeks. The same goes for emotions. Take the time you need, but also keep an eye on the exit. If you find your feelings overstaying their welcome, like guests who can't take a hint, it might be time to seek support. This could be through friends, support groups, or mental health professionals – anyone who can help you unpack these feelings and repack them into something more manageable.
Remember, it's not about never feeling down; it's about not letting the downs keep you down. You're not just surviving; you're learning how to thrive again. There's a whole world of experiences, connections, and joys still waiting for you. You've got this, and when you're ready, there's a future out there brighter than a BuzzFeed listicle titled "10 Glitter Bombs That Will Brighten Your Day."
Stay hopeful, keep moving forward, and remember, every emotion is just a part of the journey, not the destination.
