When Twinks Cry "Troll!"

Why do gaybies shun their gay elders? Why do they ignore, snub or otherwise insult them on the apps? Many older gay men report getting degraded, ignored, even insulted by younger gay men.

Why? 

Here’s our take:  First, gay culture has traditionally emphasized youth, beauty, and masculinity as the ideal. This leads to rigid ageism that values the young over the mature. As gay men age, they are seen as less attractive and face exclusion. Media images reinforce this bias by rarely showing older gay men.

Second, seeing older people confronts younger gay men with their own mortality, which is terrifying. It's psychologically easier to dissociate from mature men than ponder one's inevitable decline and death. For generations deeply impacted by AIDS, aging evokes traumatic communal losses.

Third, many young gay men have unresolved issues with father figures that get transferred to older men, who may act as paternal mentors and partners. But these complex dynamics risk awakening oedipal conflicts best left buried.

Fourth, some young gays fear predatory sexual behavior from older men, often due to stereotypes or past negative experiences. Generational divides also breed misunderstanding and distrust.

Finally, large age gaps highlight power imbalances around status, money, and desirability favoring either the young or the old depending on circumstance.

Let’s see what some of the younger gays have to say about all this.

Wrinkly Reminders of Mortality 

Seeing older people confronts the young with their own mortality—a terrifying prospect.

Better to dissociate from saggy elders than ponder death's dark abyss. Pass the botox, hunty!

"When older guys hit on me, it freaks me out," says twentysomething Brent C. "I don't want to imagine what I’m going to look like when I get older."

Daddy Issues and Not The Good Kind 

Many young gay men have complicated relationships with their fathers. Older mentor figures can become paternal stand-ins, but these bonds risk awakening unresolved daddy drama. Quick, call the therapist!

"Older guys remind me of my distant father," says Gregg H., 24. "It brings up feelings I'd rather not deal with." 

Similarly, intergenerational desire dredges up oedipal undertones. Better to repress that taboo than explore its psyche.

"Hooking up with much older guys makes me feel weirdly like I'm seeking my dad's approval," admits 20-year-old Dominic T. "It's too emotionally confusing."

While older mentors can provide guidance, they can't resolve childhood issues. Only introspection and time can heal those wounds.

Fear of Predation from "Creepy Old Men"

Fair or not, some young gays fear predatory advances from older counterparts seeking fresh meat.

"Many older guys leer at me in clubs or make weird sexual comments," says twentysomething Glen R. "I worry they'll try to take advantage when I'm drunk." 

In truth, statistics show older gay men are no more likely to harass than other demographics. Stereotypes distort reality.

Still, the occasional lecherous senior fuels generational distrust. 

Clashing Cultures Across Generations

It's natural for young people to seek peers who share common experiences. But this divides generations.

"Older guys don't get my lingo or cultural references," says 20-something Lance G. "Conversation is tedious when we have little in common."

Indeed, different eras breed distinct norms. The pop divas, slang, social causes dearest to one cohort may alienate another.