You Can't Find Love Because You Keep Cockblocking Yourself

Listen up, you beautiful disaster. We need to have a little chat about why you're still tragically single even though you're an absolute catch.

Is it your inability to commit? Your fear of intimacy? Your debilitating addiction to takeout food and Netflix binges? Gurl, it's time to do some soul searching and figure out what's really holding you back from finding love. 

First things first, let's talk about your standards. We get it - you want a stone cold 10 who's also brilliant, hilarious, and worships the ground you walk on. But be real - if Ryan Gosling himself strolled up to you in a coffee shop, you'd convince yourself he was "too pretty" or "trying too hard."

You claim to want someone mature and established, but the second a guy has his life together, you're "bored" and looking for the door. Lower your impossibly high standards before you die alone with 20 cats! (And don't even try to play the "I just haven't met the right person yet" card. We know that's code for "I'm too picky and judgmental.")

Next up: your intimacy issues. You love the thrill of the chase, but the second someone actually shows interest, you practically sprint in the other direction. You'll come up with any excuse to create distance and avoid getting truly close to someone. "I need to focus on my career right now." "I'm just not ready for commitment." Girl, STOP. You know those are just defense mechanisms because you're scared to open up. You have so much love to give - if you could just let your guard down. 

And finally, let's discuss your apocalyptic laziness. When's the last time you put yourself out there? Went to a party? Signed up for a dating app?

Asked your friends to set you up? Umm never?? You'd rather stay home with your snacks and shows because real human interaction seems ~so exhausting~. Newsflash: Your dream guy's not just going to waltz through the door while you're mid-binge. You need to get off the couch if you ever want to get out of singledom! 

Alright shawty, talk time's over. Go forth, lower those standards, open your heart, and PUT. YOURSELF. OUT. THERE. You got this! And if all else fails, there's always cat ownership!