The Perils of Toxic Gay Love

Dear 100Footer:

I find myself at a loss. My significant other's ex-partner called it quits before they relocated for fresh career opportunities. This transpired just a few months prior to when I was introduced to Max (alias), who was on the mend from his recent heartbreak.

I accidentally stumbled upon them engaged in a passionate phone conversation not long ago. The incident left me in turmoil; not only the fact that they were indulging in it covertly, but also due to the harsh and demeaning language that Chris (Max's ex) was using.

It was a type of discourse I would never use or even wish to hear, let alone envision my partner engaging in. It made me question what I thought was our satisfying intimate life.

Playing The Savior

When I confronted him about this later, he claimed that he was merely acting out of sympathy, as Chris had recently been dumped by his latest partner, and Max was taken by surprise.

He insisted that whatever transpired between them was history, and yet, remained their concern, not mine. However, he assured me that I could rely on him, and such an incident would not repeat itself.

Nonetheless, the other night while spending the night at his place, Max retired early citing an important day ahead. After a bit of late-night TV, I slipped into bed. Around 3:30 am, I found myself alone in bed, with a faint light glowing from underneath the bathroom door. To my dismay, he was engrossed in an intimate conversation with Chris once again.

Without a word, I dressed up, and just as I was about to exit, I knocked on the bathroom door loudly, announcing my departure.

What Was That?

The following day, Max paid me a visit at my apartment. I assumed he was there to apologize - again. However, he began criticizing me on every conceivable front.

His complaints ranged from my absence when he was unwell, to accusing me of not loving him enough. His accusations didn't stop there. He also claimed that his friends and family have warned him of my intentions, branding me a fortune hunter since his earnings were substantially higher than mine.

Honestly, his wealth was never my concern. I'm financially independent. I genuinely liked him, but now I'm having second thoughts. He even critiqued my friendly demeanor with service industry professionals, something his mother also seemed curious about.

The Wealth Factor

Max's friends keep reinforcing his belief that he deserves better. It's not as if we hail from different social backgrounds; it's just that he's the first one in his family to earn a substantial income.

My friends are increasingly anxious.

Max is tired of defending me and seems to agree with his friends' perspectives. He even expects me to work towards winning them over. This was definitely not the conversation I had anticipated. I am genuinely unsure about how to navigate this situation. My friends saw this coming, stating that he only valued me as a trophy due to my attractiveness and my pleasant personality.

 I used to enjoy the attention, but it soon changed when he realized that I was drawing more attention than him in public.

I should stop jotting down my thoughts now. I've clearly bared too much. Do you foresee any outcome other than an inevitable breakup for us?

-- Dunno what to think

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Dear Dunno:

First things first, Max's ex, Chris, seems to have a penchant for drama and phone sex. It's like a never-ending soap opera, and you've accidentally stumbled into a rather steamy episode. But here's the kicker: Max claims it's all innocent sympathy.

Yeah, right! I've heard that excuse before, usually followed by a chorus of "I didn't mean for it to happen."

Then, like a bad sequel, Max pulls the disappearing act in the middle of the night for a bathroom rendezvous with Chris, leaving you feeling like the fifth wheel on a tricycle. Honey, that's not just a red flag; that's a freaking circus tent!

But wait, there's more! Instead of apologizing like a decent human being, Max decides to unload a laundry list of complaints about you, from your absence during his illnesses to accusing you of not loving him enough. Well, isn't he just a peach?

And now, let's talk about money, honey. Max's friends have convinced him that he deserves someone better, someone who won't dare to steal his spotlight or tarnish his image. Apparently, they think you're just a gold digger, out to plunder his fortune. Never mind your financial independence or genuine affection for him.

It's all about the Benjamins, baby! Sounds like a classy group of friends he's got there.

So, what's the outcome, you ask? Well, sweetheart, the writing's on the wall, and it's spelled B-R-E-A-K-U-P.

But don't despair! In the land of relationships, breakups can be a blessing in disguise. It's a chance to ditch the drama and find someone who appreciates you for the fabulous, witty, and charming person you are.

So grab a margarita, put on your sassy pants, and get ready to move on. Life's too short to waste on someone who can't appreciate you. You deserve better, my dear. And remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea, some of whom won't carry around a boatload of ex-partner baggage and ridiculous friends.