How To Get Rock Star Confidence

How To Find Gay Guys In Your Area?

Grow Rock Star Confidence

What's the point of asking how to find a gay boyfriend if you don't have the confidence to talk to them when you 'find' them? In this post we're going to get you all the confidence you need.

Confidence is the result of accomplishment. By setting up the right goals, detaching from the outcome and enhancing your social skills, you will produce the fuel that powers confidence.

Let's get started.

Competence Builds Confidence. Not The Other Way Around.

You’re not going to get a pep talk from me. Motivation is like masturbation--it feels good for about a minute, and then you’re right back where you started.

Forget build-it-and-he-will-come visualizations. They don’t work either. You can’t buy confidence; you have to earn it. It comes down to this:

Competence builds Confidence.

The doing comes before the feeling. It’s worth repeating: Competence builds confidence. Not the other way around. Competence creates confidence which increases competence. It’s a built-in feedback loop.

So here’s what we’re going to do:

Develop irresistible social skills.

Approaching, talking and connecting with attractive guys is a skill you can learn. And with the right coaching and content, you can systematically produce results in 21-days. Yes, some people have a factory-installed charm engine, but the after-market installation is just as effective. Here are the skills you’re going to learn:

How to think outside of yourself
How to consider other people’s reality
Talk from a place of sincerity
Know interesting facts about the human condition
Communicate these facts in a captivating way
How to be spontaneous
Understand the underlying humanity behind conversations
How to connect in meaningful ways
Create rapport
Make people feel better about themselves
Add value to people’s lives
Become a better person.

Your Goals Are Killing You. Get New Ones.

Approach anxiety gets triggered by unreasonable goals. Telling yourself you need to go to the other side of the bar and pick up Shagability is about the most unreasonable goal you can come up with. If I were to tell you to go from where you are (Low Confidence/Low Competence) to where you want to be (High Confidence/High Competence) in a single step, you’d freak out. Do you really expect to get to the top of Mt. Shagability without so much as setting up base camp?

That’s why we’ve got to set reasonable goals. “Meet a quality guy,” “Sleep with a hot man” or “get a husband” may be things you want, but they don’t qualify as reasonable goals. You can’t get there from here. You’d get better results--and faster ones--if you had goals that weren’t tied to results. From now on, this is your main objective:

Be More Talkative

It’s the only way to convey the allure of your personality. No personality means no chance with connecting with Shagability. You have to practice being talkative with EVERYONE not just the guys you like. And you have to practice it EVERYWHERE, not just in bars or parties.

Detach From The Outcome.

By disconnecting yourself from results and connecting with the approach you will, oddly, get better results . Let’s take dieting as an example. Your goal (the desired outcome) is to lose ten pounds. The method (or process) is to eat fewer calories.

Focusing on the outcome drives you to weigh yourself every day looking for signs that you lost weight. You then become frustrated that you’re not losing weight fast enough. So you starve yourself to get quicker results. The starvation leads to anxiety and a sense of futility and next thing you know, you’re off the diet.

Over-attachment to the outcome rarely works.

Here’s another approach: You never weigh yourself. You forget your goal of losing ten pounds. What matters is getting healthier. And the only way to do that is to eat better. So you focus on that, eating smaller portions of healthy food, avoiding high-fat snacks and desserts. You’re adapting to a new lifestyle and at the end of the month you realize you’ve lost some weight.

That’s committing to the process and detaching from the outcome. And it works every time.

Now, how does this apply to meeting high quality guys? Let’s say you’re going to approach Shagability and you really want him to go out with you. Your focus is on impressing him and trying to do so well that he can't help but date you.

But you have no control over whether he’s going to date you. Maybe he’s going to go out with the other hottie in the corner no matter how great a candidate you are. Maybe he’ll have an irrational dislike of you, or maybe he’ll be in a bad mood when you talk to him. You can’t control him and you know this at some level.

But you feel that you must control him because the desired outcome is too important.

Result? You feel like you’re under tremendous pressure, you become self-conscious, your mind goes blank and you have a very awkward encounter. He smells your nervousness and desperation. You try to hide it and end up looking even more desperate. When you leave the bar you’re worn out and feel sick to your stomach.

But suppose you commit to the process and detach from the outcome? How would that look like? You study everything in this report, approaching Shagability as prepared as you can be.

You know there’s NOTHING you can do to compel him to date you, so you don’t try to control that. It’s out of your hands. If you get a date, fine. If not, that’s the way it goes. Whatever will be will be. Your only focus is doing the best you can with the material you’ve learned.

You priority is in the approach itself, not on the prospect of getting a decision to date or hook up later. You are in the moment. Because you’ve let go of your need to control and impress Shagability, there’s an ease to you--relaxed, confident and entertaining. When your interaction ends, you leave feeling wonderful, and put the possibility of a date out of your mind, knowing that you can do nothing further to affect the course of events.

Which strategy is more likely to get you Shagability? Which strategy is going to save you from unnecessary stress, fear, conflict, frustration, anger, helplessness and depression?

Bottom line: You can’t really control the outcome of meeting Shagability. You can only control what you do, what you say and how you say it. You can’t control him but you can control yourself.

Commit to the process; detach from the outcome.

Next week we're going to do a series of exercises that'll get you to the promised land. Or man. If you want to get a head start grab your copy of Meet Hotter Gay Guys. The 21 Day Plan To Overcome Your Fear of Rejection, Master the Art of Icebreakers and Snag Guys You Never Thought You Could Get.

Because hey, that's where we are stealing all our ideas :-)