The #1 Rule To Approaching a Hottie

"How Do I Find A Gay Partner Near Me?"

"Assume Rapport" and You'll Meet Plenty of Gay Men

The ability to “assume rapport” is one of the most useful social skills you can have. It will literally open doors for you in your dating, business and personal relationships.

Rapport is an emotional bond based on a shared understanding. The best way to get it is to pretend you’ve got it. Don’t seek it; assume it. Rapport seekers fish for a connection by asking yawners like “What’s New?” “What do you do?” and “Where are you from?”

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of those questions from a guy you don’t know--and aren’t sure you want to—it feels as if somebody’s checking your pockets to see if you’ve got change for a dollar. It’s way too invasive. Don’t do it. Act as if you know him. Talk to him like you used to ditch class together.

People who have genuine rapport don’t talk in meaningless questions. They talk in statement form or in meaningful questions. Let’s say you’re at a grocery store and you spy a hottie:

Asking for rapport: [directly approaching him] “Hi. I’m Mike. What’s your name?”

Assuming rapport: [holding the bottle and asking indirectly] “What’s up with 1% milk? Is it really any better than 2%?”

Asking for rapport creates a try-hard energy. Assuming rapport creates camaraderie.

The Subtle Art of 'As If': Crafting Connections That Stick

Diving Deeper into the World of Assumed Rapport

So, you've grasped the basics of assumed rapport. But let's dig deeper. It's not just about avoiding the mundane chit-chat; it's about creating an instant sense of familiarity, a shared world where you're both insiders.

The Power of Shared Experiences

Picture this: You're at a party, and you notice someone standing alone, looking as thrilled as a cat in a bath. Instead of the standard "Nice party, huh?" try, "Is it just me, or does the DJ have a thing for 80s music?". This isn't just a question; it's an invitation into a shared experience, a conspiracy of sorts. You're not strangers anymore; you're co-conspirators in an inside joke.

The Art of Observational Bonding

At a coffee shop, instead of asking someone what they're working on, comment on the ambiance. "Is it me, or does the barista’s playlist make you feel like you're in a noir film?" This approach doesn't just start a conversation; it creates a shared moment, a little world that only you two inhabit at that moment.

Using Assumed Rapport in Business

In a business setting, this technique can be a game-changer. Instead of starting a meeting with, "Thanks for meeting me," dive into something you've noticed about their company or industry. "I saw your latest campaign. It's like you've read my mind on where the market's heading." You're no longer another appointment; you're a fellow visionary.

It's Not Just What You Say, But How You Say It

Assumed rapport is as much about tone and body language as it is about words. It's leaning in, nodding, smiling - acting as if you're already in the middle of a great conversation. It’s less about what you’re saying and more about how you’re saying it. You’re not asking; you’re sharing, and in that sharing, you're inviting them into a space that’s already warm and welcoming.

The Real Secret: Genuine Interest

But here’s the clincher: Assumed rapport works best when it's grounded in genuine interest. It's not a trick; it's a tool. It's about finding that little spark of curiosity about the person or the situation and fanning it into a flame of connection. When you do that, what you're really doing is telling the other person, "I see you. You're interesting." And who doesn't want to feel seen?

The Takeaway

Assuming rapport isn't just a social hack. It's an approach to communication that says, "Let's skip the formalities and get to the good stuff." And in a world where everyone is tired of small talk, that's not just refreshing; it's revolutionary.

Next week we'll talk about something you should NEVER do when you approach a hottie. If you want to get a head start grab your copy of Meet Hotter Gay Guys. The 21 Day Plan To Overcome Your Fear of Rejection, Master the Art of Icebreakers and Snag Guys You Never Thought You Could Get.

Because hey, that's where we are stealing all our ideas :-)