The 3 Fears That Stop You From Meeting Hot Guys & How To Deal With Them
The Triple Threat in Gay Dating
Note: this is part of our how to meet gay men series.
What's Holding You Back from Bagging That Hottie?
Fear #1: The Nightmare of Rejection and Ridicule
Picture this: You've got your eyes on Mr. Gorgeous, but what if he rejects you, even politely? That's a solid NO, buddy. Imagine the horror of him scouting for someone else while you're blabbering away. Or worse, what if he ditches you mid-sentence? Public humiliation, anyone? The fear is real. You could be ignored, or worse, laughed at. Face it, the risk of a soul-crushing outcome is sky-high, especially if you're clueless about what to say or do.
Fear #2: The Terror of Total Loss
Ever thought you might just ruin it all by trying too hard? What if Mr. Right turns out to be Mr. Wrong because you acted like a desperate fool or a rude jerk? Waiting seems safer, right? The mere thought of messing up can spark a fear of catastrophic loss. It's like walking on eggshells, but the eggs are your dreams.
Fear #3: The Assault on Self-Esteem
Isn't it better to walk away with your dignity rather than risk getting it stomped on? So, you start making excuses: "He's probably taken," "I'm not his type," "He must be a total jerk." Anything to justify why you're standing there, doing absolutely nothing.
Meet "Mr. Shagability": Your Personal Nemesis
Here's a fun fact: Mr. Shagability, a complete stranger, has an insane amount of power over you. He's like a magician who glues your feet to the ground and tapes your mouth shut while your brain explodes with negative thoughts.
The Power of Shagability: Illusion or Reality?
Why does he have this power? Because you're seeing him all wrong. To kick rejection fear in the butt, you need to...
Redefine How You View Hot Guys
Right now, Mr. Shagability is your ultimate goal. And with goals, it's a win-or-lose game. Succeed or fail, live or die. Sounds dramatic, right? When it comes to love or lust, it feels like a matter of life and death. No wonder you're more jittery than a jitterbug in a jar.
Shagability: Not a Goal, but a Gateway
Here's the twist: Shagability isn't a finish line; he's a doorway. He might lead to a date, or maybe he'll introduce you to someone else. He could become a friend, a business contact, or just a cool story to tell. He's a portal to endless possibilities. If he's a goal, you're doomed to your worst fears. If he's a portal, you're open to whatever comes next. And guess what? He's probably just as scared of rejection as you are.
Re-define, Re-align, and Rejoice!
Changing how you see Mr. Shagability realigns your confidence. He's not just a potential hookup or spouse. He might lead you to your next big thing. Or he might just be a lesson in what works and what doesn't. Once you grasp that he's a portal to countless opportunities, your fear will start to fade.
Once the truth sets in--that Shagability is a portal from which many good things can happen, we can now address some of the other beliefs that stop you from making contact with good-looking guys. I call them...The Three Big Gay Lies. Stay tuned for that post next week!
